Where this is going is right back to the idea of “shared realities”. The concept of “white privilege” and “race is not real” are equally true, however, both are separate perceptions of the same topic in different shared realities. Every person experiences numerous shared realities. There are shared realities with co-workers that differ from shared realities with bosses or subordinates. We experience different shared realities with family and friends as groups and individuals. Shared realities are an extremely common and universal piece of the human experience; the building blocks of concepts like bonding, culture and community. At the same time, shared realities are also the building blocks for racism, blind-faith, and blind-nationalism, among many other less-than-desirable human afflictions (herd mentality is shared reality).

The danger of shared reality is that you run the risk of judging and gauging things through the reality you have cultivated over your lifetime. If you are white, you cannot possibly understand the experience of being black. If you are an American, you cannot possibly understand the experience of being raised Chinese. If you are male you cannot understand being female. And in that understanding is limited, as people, we need to be careful about the way we view “the other” so that we do not make the mistake of dismissing the value of their culture, community and reality as cultural baggage or worse, attempt to cause “the other” to assimilate to the homogenous reality of White Anglo-Saxon Protestant culture.

Human beings have long warred against one another, usually over cultural or religious differences. It is fear of “the other”. Indigenous peoples wiped out by the millions as savages for failing to adhere to this doctrine or that ritual; rich cultures and heritages laid to waste and replaced by new belief systems; new, shared realities. This is human history.

Shared realities are also responsible for dogmatic belief systems such as religion and government, what I like to refer to as “schisms and isms”. Not that there is anything wrong with religion or government, at their best they help look after the best interests of the people they serve at their worst of course… These sorts of systems are put together by people with the best of intentions to serve other people, but instead of coming to a shared reality, the focus shifts to building a fractured consensus that everyone can live with, which builds a fractured framework that moves away from serving the people and toward serving its’ own interests.

As a person attempting to strip away the pre-conditioning of life, the realities I share with others are extremely important to me, because they serve as my checks and balances and provide me with a sense of history and tradition. This might sound counter-intuitive, and maybe to some degree, it is, however, over time, I have learned that my friends and family are my culture and tradition. I have learned that our shared reality is my world and I am equally responsible to defend its culture and traditions and to present it to others as a shining example of what we are all capable — in our own way — of becoming, loving and human.

After all the high-fives, ass-slapping, and claims of “victory” in “difficult times”, the fact remains, responsibility was outsourced. The Governor, the Assembly, and the Senate refused to accept responsibility for the past and with this budget, refuse to accept responsibility for what is to come. And what is to come? Most certainly suffering for tens of thousands and likely, death for thousands of Californians. Among the cuts made are those to health and welfare programs, domestic violence and sexual assault programs, HIV/AIDS programs and many others. Yes, the money for the enormous short fall had to come from somewhere, but it is fair to say that neither the Governor nor the Legislature put the health and well being of the population into a proper light. People became numbers and statistics. Less than human. Less than alive. The new budget is little more than a death sentence for people who are either marginalized already or in dire need of assistance. It doesn’t matter though, they do not vote.

But I digress… this is not a political rant.

The lesson all of us can come away with from this latest episode of California drama (The Governator vs. Legislature VI – Rated R: Restricted—Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. For stupidity and brief grandstanding), is to remember the human factor. People are not numbers; they are not objects, they are living, breathing, thinking, feeling creatures, every bit the same as you and me. When the sun beats down, they get hot. When there is no food, they become hungry. When they are beaten, they bleed. Day in and day out, we regard those we do not know with little more thought than we give to the stapler on our desks. You walk by them on the way to the coffeehouse; you pass them in the grocery store parking lot and rarely does it occur to most of us that these are living, breathing, loving, feeling, thinking human beings with problems and hurts and needs and lives every bit as important as our own.

The danger is looking past others and marginalizing their value as human beings. It is easy to revile people who are different or perhaps sick in ways we cannot relate to. It leads to all order of drama and fear. It complicates life, encourages hurt and misunderstanding and devolves into something fearful and ugly. We cannot allow this to happen to our self. We cannot look at others and feel nothing. We cannot afford this.

When these things do happen, when we allow our self to marginalize the other, we are lost and will seek solace in finding like minds to validate our fear and misunderstanding, whether it be joining the KKK, the far left/right, or some other dogmatic system.

And today, some of us sit in disbelief of the cold heartedness of the political machine and tomorrow, we watch the bodies pile up. I wonder if the death of a homeless man disturbs anyone in the Assembly or if Governor Schwarzenegger will care that some time in the next few hours, a woman will be sexually assaulted and there will be no one there to provide support and counseling. And when the bodies do pile up, who will take responsibility? Who will step forward? You? Me? Then who? Maybe the smartest thing any of us can do is to roll up our sleeves and help our fellow human beings. Because the truth of the matter is, this what is important and if we all would start to give a damn we would have no need for politicians and their posturing.

Simple, yet brilliant.  Time and again, I open DpH (as it is known to fans) and read this statement.

Everything in the Universe is everything else.  Interconnectedness.  Interdependency.

Originally, I was going to write about interconnectedness or interdependency, but that is for another day.  Today, my path leads me back to phrases and ideas that inspired me along my way.  While I always think of my path as one that moves forward, I do take time to meditate or think upon ideas that have opened my path.  There are times when I doubt; when I hesitate; when I stumble and it’s during these times that I seek out those things which inspired me to begin with.  Not all useful thought is spiritual in nature.  All useful thought plants seed that sprout and bear their own fruit.

One valuable lesson I have taken to heart is that if you are unhappy with your own life; if things do not turn out the way you would like them – try again.  Do something new.  Have the courage, strength, and vision to move forward and start over.  Do not expect the past to simply disappear, but that it will become more in tune to you for what it truly is, history.  And there is no reason to mourn history or to feel depressed about it.  Move forward with your memories, lessons, and scars.  These are not “deep thoughts”, just common sense, which seems to be fairly uncommon.

As human beings, we are witness to suffering, not only our own, but others as well.  We cannot save the world, but we can choose a cause to make the world a better place.  I have my own cause which I am blessed to be paid to triumph.  All of us need to count our blessings.  Even if you are scraping by at the poverty level in the United States, you are still in far better shape than the vast majority of the world population.  You are still in better shape than tens of thousands of mentally/emotionally handicapped people rotting in our prison systems; better off than the homeless person wandering the street who eats the food you and I throw away.

Bless your eyes and give thanks to whoever or whatever you believe in.  Give back and be thankful that you can.

I am in such a different place.

A few years ago, it would not have mattered to me that no one reads this blog.  Today, I tell myself I write this blog for me, and largely, I do; but there is a part of me that looks for recognition and validation by means of comments or at least page views.  Today, I am still struggling to keep bad habits out of the blog, such as bemoaning what has become of my life, but in doing that, I struggle to write in a straight-forward, intelligent, matter-of-fact way.  The difference between me then and me now? Confidence.  I’m still recovering.  I’ll get there.

I am no longer white and Methodist.  I am no longer male and technically inclined.  I am that I am.

Everything and nothing at the same time…

Do not be afraid of difficulty, because it is an opportunity; and without difficulty, could we really appreciate the blessings that are part of our day-to-day life?  If all good things — all pleasurable things — were easily attained, they would hold no value for us.  Enjoy the good things and learn from them as well.

When we walk in our divine state, our awareness is raised and we begin to connect more deeply with everything around us; and this, is the natural state of a human being.  When considering thoughts, words, and actions, we should be mindful of their root.  Is this thought rooted in love, which will draw me closer to those people and things around me or is it poisoned with anger, which may hurt another?  And this word?  And these actions?

What am I projecting to others?

This is a question we must continually ask ourselves.  The way we perceive our own thoughts, words, and deeds may very well not be the way that others are seeing us.  Although we should not allow other people to dictate the way we present ourselves anymore than we should concern ourselves with their opinion of us; what is of concern is that we move in such a way — in thought, word, and deed — that our better and divine self is present at any given moment.

Walking in our divine state means having no particular attachment or preference, no longing or desire for something other than what is before us.   It does not matter if it is raining or if the sun is shining, because both are natural and normal states with their own purpose; it does not matter if you are surrounded by a huge group of people or if you are all alone to appreciate the quiet.  We should simply enjoy all things for the blessings they are.

When we vent our hurt and suffering upon another person, we do this to punish them, even though the other person is not the reason for our difficulties and hurt.  Alone, we must take charge of our hurt.  Life is made up of joyous wonder as well as traumatic experience.  The trauma and hurt all of us have been through have created so-called “defense mechanisms” within each of us; the ideas fall into psychological “instincts” called “fight or flight”.  These reactions need not exist within any of us.  These are things we have learned because we are not in touch with our true self or – even if we are in touch with our true self – have come with such a force that it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to remain within our true self.  The true self understands self, and in doing so, the suffering of others.  Escalation of a situation can be minimized or eliminated altogether by one who is in tune with their true self.

As people, we need to understand that reaction is most often the worst of all courses to follow.  When an unpleasant situation arises, we need to learn to walk away from it peacefully and carefully consider what we feel and why we feel it;  additionally, we must attempt to understand the feelings of the other in order to defuse the situation and avoid an ugly escalation which cannot help anyone, only harm our self as well as others.

The onus of discipline, right words, and right actions fall upon those of us who are aware of the situation as it exists.

If I am angry, it is very important that I understand what it is that I am angry with and all too often, anger is not directly related to a situation that is currently in front of you.  Anger is often associated with previous experiences and people who have hurt you.  It is too common that we project these experiences upon new situations and other people who were never involved in our past.  If we allow our self time to separate from the situation and to explore the hurt and anger, we can avoid hurting another person and more importantly, tending to issues that may have haunted and hurt us for years.

Escalation occurs when the misunderstanding between two or more people arises and no one is examining the root cause of their hurt, anger, and frustration.  Our better self, our divine self needs to take the time to understand their own issues and then the issues of others.  In doing this, we have a blessed opportunity to end a cycle of anger and hurt by understand the other and Loving them rather than allowing the hurt to continue.

If all of us were to understand our own hurt and resolve it, we would be more able to solve issues with others and in time, maybe we could learn to stop blaming and hurting and live in Love and peace.

Even if you do not have an immediate answer to this question, you already know.  There was a reaction immediately upon hearing the question.  And the answer to this question is not relevant.  What is relevant is how you might feel about your immediate reaction.  Were you pleased with your response?  Is this the way you would want to react in this particular situation?

As human beings, we tend to be reactionary creatures.  Our reactions are learned based upon a series of life experiences and how we perceive the events before, during, and after the fact.  If we have lived with abuse, the fight or flight instinct is triggered by any perceived abuse that may follow.  However, someone who has never had the misfortune of experiencing abuse may react differently to an identical situation because they perceive the situation differently than one who has experienced abuse.  To truly grow and find our divine self, we must unlearn the horrible and fearful lessons we have accept as truth in our life.  The truth is as people we tend to be most responsive to adversity.  The truth is that as people we allow the tribulations in our life to have more effect on us than the positive experiences that we take for granted. The truth is that pain and suffering do more to define us as human beings than any other thing.

Once we have learned that being slapped hurts, we fear the pain and discomfort it creates.  The next time a person raises a hand to us, we may have told our self one thing, yet we react in another — and sometimes seemingly impossible — way.  This is simply the first of many new steps.  As we move forward, we find growth when we learn that the adversity (perhaps being slapped) was isolated and that not everyone we meet will be interested in creating violence with us.  This is a step.  In time — hopefully — we will learn that those who hurt us are carrying their own hurt which causes them to lash out and be violent toward us.  This is another step, learning from adversity.

There is more, however.

Most of what happens in our life is not within our control.  We have control, but not in the manner we expect. Our reaction to adversity or to our own unhappiness creates a connected chain reaction around us over which we have no control. Our control ends with our reaction. What happens next is beyond our control. What happens next we can only react to. It may be more than we expect. It may be more than we know how to deal with.

When we have reached a place within our self where we see things clearly, recognizing our response to events and the hurt and suffering that these events may have caused or when we see the suffering of others and the events they create through their suffering, we have an opportunity to learn, grow and take control.  We can take control by not offering a response that with further validate the suffering another person feels.  We take control by breaking the connection of negativity with a Loving and positive approach; by giving something different that will not fan the flames of their suffering.

Contributions do not need to be putting together peace accords between warring factions or curing cancer; a contribution can be as simple as calling and old friend and wishing them well or handing a homeless man your lunch.

A smile.

A verbal greeting of a stranger.

These things are Loving contributions that all of us can make at anytime regardless of our income or social status.  A little kindness and understanding goes a long way.

If all of us would practice a habit of minor contribution daily the world would suffer less.  Perhaps that smile or that telephone call reminded someone that they matter.  Perhaps a random hello to a stranger becomes the beginning of a wonderful and mutually beneficial friendship.  And maybe handing lunch to the homeless allowed that person another day to live and perhaps find a means out of their situation.

Ultimately, we benefit from these contributions, because they make us feel better about our self and remind us to appreciate those things that we have, even if it is a simple smile.

Strip away the rags of fear and conditioning. Drill down into yourself and find the person you are before all of the weight of the world was thrown upon you. Simplify everything by understanding what is truly important, Love, acceptance and connection.

We do not need salvation. We need to Love and accept our true self, then we can Love and accept the other